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Hi Sophie, thank you for your reply, yes I have rung lifeline about 3 weeks ago and could hardly talk, I just sobbed uncontrollably. Push it back and keep pushing forward we all have a inner warrior you need to allow yours to shine through.
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As of tomorrow make a decision that you aren’t going to allow your anxiety to boss you around anymore… start living your life………. I understand you don’t know what to do……. One thing I learned about anxiety is the more we do what are anxiety is telling us to do the more we reinforce it.
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When your anxiety tries to make you stay inside… go outside…. there was no way I was going to allow my anxiety to get in between myself and my family…Īnxiety will try to make you avoid certain things but you have to stand strong and defy it! You can …. My intrusive thoughts where sometimes about my family members the ones I loved… my anxiety tried to make me avoid my family incase of what if s a but I pushed it back and defied it I’d deliberately get closer to my family and hug them…. I would never allow my anxiety to get in between myself and my family… it tried but I made a decision that no matter how bad I was feeling and no matter how bad it was shouting at me I wasn’t going to surrender to it. But it’s a marathon I won… and so can you., When I was in the grips of severe anxiety OCD my whole world came crashing down the horrible distressing intrusive thoughts repeated over and over again they where relentless…… I was constantly on edge and having daily panic attacks it was the toughest thing I have ever been through in my whole life. I understand it’s tough to be up against it… I really do understand the impacts that anxiety can have on our life. I have tried to speak to my psychiatrist about changing my meds but he is so dismissive and thinks it’s just me, I have tried slowly tapering of this medication and then developed suicidal thoughts, in all honesty I’m at the end of my tether, I have no friends no support and a psychiatrist that thinks he knows best, has anyone else experienced severe side effects from taking anxiety medication? If you have my heart goes out to you. In all selfish when Covid hit I wasn’t concerned as self isolation is what I’m used to and thought to myself this is what I deal with everyday and in a way I was happy that other people had to do what I deal with everyday, selfish isn’t it. But now I just sit at home cocooned in a protective shell from the outside world feeling like anxiety is who I am and it is what I deserve.
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I was never this person that I am today I loved life and spoke to everyone and anything, to people who knew me back before taking medication would say that I was always full of life and always smiling and made people laugh and probably my energy was a bit overwhelming for people that didn’t know me. My home is a safe haven where I don’t have to fake anything, but it is a catch 22, the more I isolate the more I feel disconnected from the world, even putting the rubbish bin out terrifies me in case a neighbour sees me and what’s to have a chat so I put the bin out at 9pm well after my neighbours have. While being on this medication I have resigned from my job of 14 years and left my marriage and have no friends left, I self isolate at home with my dogs and only leave when I absolutely have to, even then I take the path of least resistance, I now suffer from insomnia with never ending ruminating thoughts, in all honesty I'm exhausted and so lonely. Since being put on an anxiety medication 4 years ago for depression, I have developed severe anxiety, I never suffered from anxiety before this and was able to cope with my depression by wearing what I describe as a mask, I had a stable job that i excelled at and had a wide network of friends.